Thursday, August 09, 2007

okay.. im back finally!
after like duno how long cuz my com..
it just broke down a week back.
eh i guess im feelin better le ba?
not tat emo((:
smiling is still the best solution..
or rather hiding myself,
and findin someone real close to talk to..
but i still get emo at times.
and i certainly noe the reason why,
still i cant help.. lalas

had ACPC and ROD on 1st august.
okay, it was quite saddening for me..
kept feelin like crying..
i think is bcuz we had to think the sec 4s.
bein ncos and not "like" a squad.
i missed all the times we had.
if ever there was a chance to express my love for the squad.
it will take days and nights..
all the memories we had.
it's not captured by photos!
and the changes i see in my squad..
especially the guys--i appreciate it.
i guess the best goes to ken :DD

acpc results were not as good as i thought.
why? cuz it's ...
okay i shall not mention anything here.
honestly i HATE my post..
not bcuz i hate PS. though somewhat i realise i dun like it.
or rather i dun wan go into tat department.
but.. okay nvm.
shall not go on.
wana talk to someone tat can ans my question.
but i didnt. cuz tat person is moody.
decided to say it some other time,
cuz i still dislike my post so much:(
and i guess all the positions placed were wrong.
i duno why,
but i just hope they were right this time.
cuz we can acheive better!
yet the post... *not to be named*

maybe we nv get a chance in everything.
it's obvious in so many ways..
we hav eyes, we can see it.
no one is blind just tat they get over it,
faster then me i guess?
i duno why im so.
but it's really bothering me so much..
i dun feel like goin for parade.
not for the now and the short period in future!
i noe i shld not hav been so,
yes im bad!
but u noe why?
cuz i feel like i hav given too much to SJ.
i haven had time for my frens and others.
and yet all my efforts hav gone to the drain:(
someone tell me u will get repay if u work hard,
nah! i doubt.
the world is nv fair..
it's just so dark, like how ms chng complained.

ROD was sad. even before ROD,
i cried when eric tan was makin his speech on ACPC.
tried to dry my tears so tat i look better durin pledge takin(:
then the champagin and the snacks,
i tried to hide my feelins..
guess im good at tat!
i managed to look happy:DD
everyone was CHEATED by me..
read the letter by wy sir and cried in the toilet:(
then rod watchin the video we made,
feel like crying.. but i didnt.
went down to sing and i almost cried..
i forced back my tears and look down,
so tat no one can see us..
SAW YIFANG, CHUIHAN, JIWEI crying..
chill darlings! i will miss u guys:(
feelin so bad. we went back to sit.
then sir made another video for them..
more memorable for them i guess,
cuz it's really nice abt their squad.
and the WORDS said by sir,
i guess they really are good at some stuffs though.
then sir, yf and jane said two songs..
listening and i feel like crying again:(
cried so hard and i think i noe why..
then it was finally over,
went back and "celebrated" belated bdae for mummy!

had the T-shirt for them:DD
it was SUPER NICE CAN!
took tons of photos of their shirts..
and some of our faces!
and mine was cut off for most of the photos:(
took photos with daddy and mummy:DD
and it was nice! last time..
and oh yes! the champagin part was great though..
we threw all the bottle caps onto the first floor.
hahas! and sir was angry? =X
but so many GREAT COUNCILLORS there,
no one cares lo. so HAPPY!
and we shared some heart warmin moments with our ex-coms!
i guess it's the best!

ah! i wana THANKS JIM AND KH((:
it's nice of them to come and congrats us though..
when kh said those words i feel like cryin..
i noe she's right but...
cant help feelin the other way:(
if ever we can turn back the time,
i really wan to go back to those times with them.
under there, we are as united as a squad.
no matter wad happens,
we accept it with great smiles:DD
nth abt power and ranks and stuffs like tat,
we are just us!
even after promo with cy double!
we are convinced by it..
unlike now, it's so dark inside.
though i really really love our squad,
but i guess i can nv go back to tat innocent me D:
had dinner with them though we didnt talk.
i noe ken was upset,
CHEER UP GUY!
U ARE STILL THE BEST IN OUR HEARTS!
and those tat i noe who arent tat happy too:DD

mayb someday when everything is over,
then can i finally understands wad it is like,
to get myself out of all these.
and stay be happy again once more.
let everyone understand how SJ makes my life upside down.
makin me misery yet the happy..
givin me all my best memories!